Nanna

I have a bit of catching up to do!  Dad and I have been on three lunch dates since my last post.  Four Friday's ago dad wanted to go to Tahoe Joe's.  He had his tastebuds set on a steak of some sort and if I'm not mistaken...he had some unfinished "cheesecake business" to attend to! 

I picked him up out at the house around 1:00 and headed for the coveted steak house with cheesecake in the back of our minds :)  This week was a chaotic week for our family as both of my teenage daughters lost their cell phones -_-  an added task that we did not project we'd have to deal with!  Fortunately, we were able to find a really great iPhone deal so Joe and I gave our HTC Inspires to the girls and the two of us got new iPhones :)  Sometimes it just works out to your advantage.  I am telling you all of this because in the process of losing phones and switching data to new phones...I lost all of the pictures I took of my dad and I at Tahoe Joes  -_-  I suppose you will have to endure this post without pictures. I will try to make it interesting :))

Dad and I took some time to settle in to the restaurant and searched the menu for something to hit "just the right spot".  We ended up getting the petite filet which is a dinner for one, but we split the meal and made it a lunch for two :)  While waiting for our meal, dad shared a little bit more about his dad's side of the family.

I think I mentioned before that my dad was raised primarily by his grandparents because his own parents worked alot.  Dad's grandparents lived right next door to him, so he was able to spend almost all of his time there.  This was a pretty convenient set up. Mama Jessie's home, was the hub.  This is where everyone hung out.  The funny thing is...not only did everyone hang out at Mama Jessie's... but for as long as my dad can remember, his paternal grandmother, Nanna, lived with Mama Jessie, too.  My dad has fond memories of growing up with both grandmothers...what a blessing.  His grandparents stood in the gap where his own parents could not.  I suppose this is why my dad is as nurturing as he is, and was never much of a disciplinarian when it came to his own kids and grandkids.  I am also most certain that this is why my parents are as involved as they are with their own grandchildren.

I asked my dad who he was closest to and to my surprise he said "Nanna Garrick".  I thought for sure it would have been Ma Jessie.  Growing up I remember countless stories about her and the times they'd spent together, but no, it was Nanna to which he felt the closest.  He said she was always there for him no matter what.  She bought him his very first car, a 1940 Ford Coupe.  He described her as, "generous and loving". They spent alot of quality time together when he was young.  Dad reminisced about the the countless trips they'd take to the zoo and all over San Francisco.  Nanna didn't drive, so they would take the Trolley car. What an ideal way to grow up.  Dad remembers going to the theater to see movies and specifically the movies that didn't have any sound.  Silent films, only they weren't completely silent because they had music in the background.  Nanna would take my dad to the movies in which she actually played the piano for the background music!  Listening to my dad remember his grandmother so lovingly, I got a real sense of why my dad is the way he is...pieces fitting together neatly like a puzzle.  She was one of his heroes I could tell.  I wonder if that is why I had such a strong connection to her at such a young age.  Hmm...something to ponder I suppose.  The human spirit is strong and penetrating.  My dad's connection to his grandmother shaped him and molded him into a gentle and loving father. I have never felt more blessed to have a dad like mine.

We ended our meal with the famous slice of cheesecake.  I thought for SURE Tahoe Joe's cheesecake would satisfy dad's longing for Red Velvet Chessecake...until the two little ladies sitting next to us commented on our dessert stating that "Tahoe Joe's has the best cheesecake" to which my dad replied "yah...it's good...but ya oughtta taste Cheesecake Factories Red Velvet!"  Guess I'm not gonna get off that easy.

By the way...I found two pictures from our lunch which must have been saved to my SIM card :)

CHEESE!

Malree called me at work and said, 'Well, I told Doo-Too I thought we should go to the Cheesecake Factory for lunch today and he said 'Okay...if that's where you wanna go then we'll go there.'  I told him Good choice Doo-Too!" 

Now, you have to know Marlee's humor to really get this.  She is witty and quick with comebacks.  It is truly a gift.  I laughed for a few minutes and then reprimanded her. 

"Marlee!  This is supposed to be about Doo-Too and what HE wants to do!" I scolded.  "MoOom! you KNOW Doo-Too is only happy when WE are happy so it's a win win!"

Oy vey...this kid!  She is right though.  My dad really is happiest surrounded by his family doing what makes us happy.  He rarely complains about the where's and when's.  He does, however, hate waiting, so a place like the Cheesecake Factory on a Friday after the lunch rush was a fairly good choice, not to mention he does love cheesecake.

This time my mother picked up Marlee and met me at the restaurant with my dad.  Dad is really getting the hang of this whole process and was ready to share his life with me.  I had to chuckle because several times we'd get off course...distracted by either Marlee, my mom, an outside call, the waiter etc. etc. etc. but my dad would stop and redirect the conversation back to the topic at hand.  I loved every minute of it!  He really gets it!  AND...he can't wait for my posts.  Mom told me he asked her the other day "has Heather posted in Lunch with Dad yet?"  This is going just as I'd hoped :)

It took us a bit longer to decide what we wanted this time.  Fortunately, we had a wonderfully, cheerful waitress who was kind and patient.  We sent her away twice before deciding what we wanted.  Dad and mom settled on the mushroom burger, Marlee got her usual...a cheeseburger with everything on the side...and I decided to try the Asian lettuce wraps.  Good choice I must say! With three different dipping sauces they were delish!

We usually start with small talk and lead into talk about dad's life from a springboard topic.  This isn't intentional it just seems to happen naturally.  We were talking about Marlee's performance at the church last weekend and how well she did in front of so many people.  She is a natural born perfomer.  My great niece, Meadow, came to see her sing and was taken back to the green room during service to visit with the musicians and singers.  Meadow, too, is a performer and is completely uninhibited in this area.  Dad began to share about the long line of perfomers and musicians in our family.  This was our springboard :)

Dad's grandfather or "Gaffer" as they called him, because my dad couldn't pronounce "Grandfather" was a professional banjo player and billiard player.  He made his living as an engraver and engaged in his talents on the side.  He was in a band during the 30's and 40's...The Big Band era!  What a fun time.  Married to Nanna and divorced before my dad can remember, they were both perfomers.  Edgy people at a time when things were becoming more and more liberal in the United States.  Nanna was a showgirl.  She danced and played at a piano bar in the city. 

Plate Gaffer engraved for my mom and dad

I never met Gaffer, but I do remember going to visit Nanna in San Francisco when I was a little girl.  The most vivid memory I have of her was looking at her jewelry collection together, and admiring the large jewels that each one seemed to possess.  When she passed away I was given a pendant in the shape of a rabbit.  It was silver and covered with large, blue jewels.  I was told  "she would want you to have it"  I remember crying because I understood that I would never get to see her again, and I still had so many questions to ask her. I was only 6 years old when she died. 

My dad's grandparents were a large part of his childhood.  Gaffer and Nanna were my dad's paternal grandparents.  They had two children Philip, my dad's father, and Eleanor.  Philip and Eleanor were fostered out together after Gaffer and Nanna divorced.  I would imagine that the life of a performer during this time wasn't a stable life for raising children.  My dad and mom don't know the details of this part of the story...it was probably a difficult subject to talk about.  I imagine my dad didn't ask questions about it and my grandfather, or Poppy Phil as we called him, most likely didn't offer. Poppy Phil has since passed away and the stories of his childhood are patchy at best. 

Dad said he remembers his cousing "Russel" staying with them when he was a kid. Russel was on the "Ozzie and Harriet" show back in the day.  He was kind of a big deal and my dad always looked up to him.  I think this may have been what sparked my dad's interest in the performing arts. I remember my dad talking about his cousin with pride when I was growing up. Russel lived in Canada where Poppy Phil and Eleanor were raised. I never met Russel, but I felt like I knew him. My dad is a great story teller and often recanted his youth with hilarious stories.  I know the artistic gene runs deep in my father's DNA and in many ways he really missed his calling in life.

Dad was "incorrigable" according to his mother when it came to learning music.  He had a natural ear and would not/could not learn to read notes.  His piano teacher gave up trying to teach him when he would sit at the piano and copy by ear any piece the teacher would play.  It's a wonder that my dad did not follow this line of work!

Some of my happiest memories as a child are listening to my dad play the piano and guitar.  He played many of the same songs :) and later taught me to play some of them.  I always tell my kids what my dad used to tell me "you come from a long line of musicians and performers!"  I suppose that's why we are all so shy!  Riiighht! 

We wrapped up our lunch with none other than...cheesecake of course!  Dad asked my mom what she was going to get and that set off the banter that continued for a few minutes.  "Phil...why can't you choose what YOU want instead of always copying me?!" 

I craked up.  73 and 76 and they still bicker like teenagers.  It is comedy.  My dad really wanted the red velvet cheesecake that my mom ordered for herself...but mom talked him into cheesecake with strawberries.  She said "You like the plain cheesecake with strawberries!"  Dad ordered what she suggested and then admired her red velvet the rest of lunch.  Mom did share with him so that was a bonus...but I knew he really wanted the red velvet because he mentioned it several times throughout the week and even recommended it to another lady at our lunch the following week. I suppose we will have to go back and get him what he wants next time.

After lunch my mom and dad made it to another soccer game...weathering the cold and enjoying every minute of it.  We are blessed.

Happy Birthday Dad

As promised I am squeezing a second post in this week!  We did have lunch on Friday and I promise to post about that this week, but first, I must tell you about dad's birthday bash!

Mom and I went back and forth with what to do for dad's birthday.  I offered to have a family dinner at my house as we had the pleasure of having my sister and Dan as well as Tony, Jen, Meadow and our newest addition, Amelia Jean, here for the entire weekend!  We had not yet met Amelia so this was a much anticipated occasion.

Mom didn't want me to have to cook and clean for such a large crew, I didn't really mind either way, dad took his usual stance..."whatever you want Florence"...but everyone else felt it would really be nice to just visit at home without the confines of a restaurant.  As it turned out...dinner at home couldn't have been a better choice. 

The men, Joe and Dan, took over in the kitchen and created a gourmet meal that would have probably gone for at least $30 a plate anywhere in town :)  On the menu was Steak served with fettucini alfredo and clams along with a gourmet salad of which I cannot tell you what all was in it...tons of veggies and green leafy lettuce...Oh, and of course, french bread.  I had to leave to watch Marlee sing at church, but I was back in time for dinner at 6:30.  Juggling a family our size is no small task!  It is a delicate balancing act that I perform every day!!

It was a rare treat to have the family over.  We used to have weekly family dinners, but since my sister and her family moved to the coast, these get togethers are farther and fewer between.  Adding Meadow and Amelia to the mix was icing on the cake :) 

We spent most of our time eating and laughing like families do.  The evening was topped off  with the birthday song and cake.  A 76th birthday to remember forever.

76 Years Young!

Last Friday was my dad's 76th Birthday.  I had all intentions to take him to lunch AND a movie...but he said he really didn't want to go to a movie...he'd rather watch Mariah's team win yet ANOTHER game in the TRAC.  Now THAT'S dedication! 

But...life often doesn't follow the "plans" we have and we find ourselves off course and traveling down an uncharted...or rather un"plan"ed path.  That's the way last Friday went.  I picked dad up as usual at around 1:30 to be at lunch around 2:00 and then head to the game at 3:00.  Here's where the plan diverted.  I know, you're thinking "already?"  Well...dad's gardeners have been friends of the family for a long time and have really gotten a kick out of this whole "lunch with dad" thing.  They found out it was my dad's birthday and they wanted to chat and chat and chat!  Then...they insisted on a picture with my dad (So cute) AND they HAD to have me text the pciture to their cell phones as well.  I didn't want to seem in a hurry, but we had "plans!"  Needless to say, we took the time to fulfill their requests and in thinking back on it...I'm glad we did.  Memories created can never be taken away and how often do we stop and really smell the roses in life.

We were on our way to Chili's, dad's birthday choice, with Marlee in tow this time and we were only about an hour off schedule...oh well...it was pretty cold outside, and Mariah's team had three games left in league to play.  We decided to forego the game and enjoy lunch and dessert. 

 

Dad took no time to decide what he wanted and ordered "The Club".  A monster of a sandwich, of which he saved half of it for...you guessed it...my mom.  I told the waitress that it was my dad's birthday and she was quick to join in on the festivities.  She comped him not one but TWO desserts and had the staff sing to him when they brought it out.  I think dad was surprised...ehhh...probably not.  He's lived enough years to know the drill...but he played along like he was surprised.  He is such a good sport.

Throughout the course of lunch dad shared some real jewels with me about his childhood.  I loved hearing about his past, especially things that sparked my own memory, like his house in Bayshore and the Cow Palace where he spent so much of his youth climbing and exploring the vast country that it used to be. 

Dad was born at Saint Mary's Hospital in San Francisco and grew up in Bayshore.  Dad's house was right next door to his grandmother, Mamma Jessie's house.  This house was later inherited by my dad's Aunt Alice and Uncle Billy whom we visited often when I was a kid.  I told my dad I remembered that street vividly and specifically, learning how to ride my first two wheeler at the ripe old age of 5!  I remember my dad holding the back of my bicycle seat until I was steady and then letting go...soon after I crashed into a tree and ate the dirt... I suppose it goes with the territroy :)  Dad said he doen't remember that part. 

Marlee and I listened as my dad talked about the horses that he owned as a kid and how he used to board them at the dairy owned by Joe Campbell.  The dairy was located there in the mountains between Bayshore and Brisbane.  Dad would work on the diary doing chores in exchange for boarding fees.  He had two horses during this time. Tony and later Daisy. I suppose this is where my dad's love for horses began and how he eventually became a quasi-cowboy that lived in the city :)  As the city encroached on the hinterland, the cowboy in my dad remained, but life forced him to live like city folk do.  My dad always found a way to find the cowboy within and because he knew alot about livestock and raising large animals  he was both the steer and sheep leader in my 4-H group later on in life.  I always wondered how he got so knowledgeable about animals, especially horses and livestock.  It makes a lot of sense to me now as I listen to him recall his youth.  It is a curious thing, how we give up our dreams and set them aside for our families. Though I know my dad wouldn't have it any other way...I'm sure a part of him wishes he'd been raised in the country and lived the life of a cowboy.

I have always known that my dad is a complex guy with many talents and abilities.  It has been a joy to revisit the quiet recesses of his heart and take this journey down memory lane with him.

Thank God It's Friday!

I think I mentioned before that we are a tight knit family...well this Friday was no exception to THAT rule.  Along with dad and I tagged my mom, Mariah and her friend Cynthia.  I thought it would be fun to have lunch with mom and dad together...afterall my mom still works 4 days a week and runs around like she is in her 30's.  She has every other Friday off and this happned to be one of them, so excluding her from the activities would be hearltess ;-) This was my original plan anyway as I thought it would be, again, another perspective, additional color and flavor to our time together.  It really had NOTHING to do with the fact that my dad adores her and would not hear of leaving her at home :D  Having Mariah and her friend tag along was an added perk.  The two girls are seniors at Buchanan High School and Friday was the last day of the semester.  Finals were done and they wanted to party with us!  We picked a party place...TGIF. 

The girls ended up at a table of their own so we did not get to visit with them much, but my dad's face lit up when he saw that Mariah had come to lunch and was visibly disappointed when their wasn't enough room for her to sit at our table.  It was, afterall, lunchtime at Fridays.  I told dad that we would do lunch with the girls another time.  He seemed to be okay with that...

Surprisingly we were seated quickly.  My mom was very aware of the purpose of our lunch and in true "mom" form she said something along the lines of "don't mind me...go ahead with your interview with your dad."  I laughed a little and said "no, mom, it's okay, really.  We'll just visit like normal...I'll get some pearls as we go...you'll see."  We did make small talk.  We talked about the kids and the new baby "Amelia Jean"  Mom and I can talk for hours and we often do...and dad tends to slip into the "silent observer" role once again.  I was conscious of this and honestly...my mom was, too.  She was great at following my lead and being a great catalyst for conversation with my dad.  We took somewhat of a trip down memory lane when I asked my dad "What restaurant did you and mom like to go to when you were dating?"  My dad said they loved to go to "Bimbo's 365 Club." To which my mother replied "Bimbo's 365 club?  Phil!  I've been there like twice in my life and it's a frickin night club We weren't going there when we were 15! No Heather...we went to The Hippo alot"  "Isn't that where you got that raw burger thing mom?"  I asked. "Yeah...the Cannibal Burger" She added. Now, just let that one sink in for a minute...they would serve a raw hamburger with all of the fixings and it was legal!  Once again...a different time...

Now...If you know my mom and dad...you can almost hear the banter.  It is comical.  They do love each other and it is a benign banter...but it is entertainment to say the least.  I let them banter a bit about what my dad could and couldn't remember and how my mom can be such a "butt" sometimes.  And then we went back down memory lane remembering the things they did together like couples skating, which from my dad's perspective they were "champions", and from my mom's perspective they could "barely get around the rink so please don't post that Heather!" Mom said she hated it and dad said "You hated it so much that we spent a whole 4 years skating together!"  Do you all see the dynamics unfolding between my mom and dad?  It is always entertaining when we get together.  Dad said they spent alot of time at the Drive In movies and the bowling alley.  Ahhhh the activities of the 1950"s teenager. 

I had so much fun listening to my mom and dad from this angle.  We were really having a good time so naturally we were all sad when it was time to go.  My dad actually said "Is it time to go already?"  This warmed my heart.  I have noticed in just three short weeks that my dad's stamina has increased notably.  Many times he tires and wants to go home...this was the first time in a long time that he was disappointed that it was time to go.  I am loving these lunches with my dad and I think he is too.

Fortunately, we had another event to get to so our time was not yet over.  We had another all important soccer game to attend.  Yes...both of my parents made the trip out to Buchanan High School to watch Mariah's team beat Clovis North 2-1.  It was a great game.  My dad made the trek from the parking lot to the field in the freezing cold January air once again and THIS time he was actually a participant.  One of our star forwards, who is Cal Poly bound, kicked a ball out of bounds and it headed straight for my dad on the sidelines.  My dad is soccer savvy.  He has been a fan since Kyle was 5 so, approximately 20 years.  At any rate...he did not back down.  He chested the ball right back on to the ground.  Of course I don't think he meant to...but who cares...75 years old and he chested a ball kicked by a stellar athlete.  My dad is amazing!!

Soccer Ninja

Beema #1 Fan

Hitchhiker

My plans to pick my dad up and take him to lunch weekly were quickly invaded by another very important man in my life...Joe.  At first I was hesitant to add another person to our sacred dad/daughter time, but after pondering the idea, I thought...why not?!  I mean, lunch with two of the most wonderful men I know?  Who am I to complain about that? And...perhaps my husband would add a different perspective to this journey :)

Joe and I drove out to my parents home to pick my dad up and as usual he was ready to go!  Dressed in jeans and a leather jacket, I have to admit he looked slick.  We spent some time wandering around the property.  Joe used to keep my parents 2.5 acres in pristine shape, but as his work has increased, he has had to hand this job over to the gardeners.  I know a part of him still wishes he could be out on the property tending to the golf tees, mini fairway and small green he built several years ago.  If the gardeners are there, Joe always takes the role of general foreman :)  He directs them and expresses his wishes on how and what they "need" to do with the yard.  This visit was no different.  The gardeners were there and of course as ritual would have it Joe spent about 45 minutes surveying the grounds and directing the gardeners.  My dad followed Joe around and added his "two Cents' when they would listen.  I have to tell you that when we first moved out to the Valley...my dad bought a ride-on mower and did the majority of the work on his land.  Now as time has gone by and age has crept in he has become a silent observer...and sometimes not so silent if you know my dad!

We finally got underway and went to one of our local favorites...Plaza Ventana.  Yummy Mexican food.  Dad and I love Mexican food and would eat it every week if given the choice.  Our conversation was mostly small talk and I waited and listened as my dad and Joe talked about the yard and Joe's work.  I love the relationship my dad and my husband have.  It is so honest and real. No hidden agendas, just a dad and his son-in-law hanging out. I know they truly love each other and it blessed me to watch them from this perspective.  Both of these men have a heart of gold and would give you the shirt off of their back if you needed one.  I am so very blessed to have such solid men in my life. 

When Joe got up to get a beer from the bar I took the opportunity to ask my dad to tell me a little bit more about his time in the military.  Dad told me that right out of high school he went to barber school and got his barbers license first.  He was only 18 years old at the time.  Shortly after that he enlisted in the Navy and was stationed in San Diego where he went through boot camp and waited for his first orders.

 About that time Joe came back and I asked him "Did you know my dad got his barber's license right out of high school?" Joe was such a trooper and joined right in on the conversation.  He know's what this journey is about and although he was trying to help me out...I could tell his interest was peaked.   "No!  I thought you went into the Navy right out of high school."  Joe asked if my dad was stationed at Camp Pendleton and my dad told us that Camp Pendleton was for the United States Marine Corp.  His boot camp was at the San Diego Naval Training Center next to Camp Pendleton.  He went on to tell us about his weekends off and how he would get two days off one weekend and then 3 days off the next.  On his 48 hour leave the boys would go in to Mexico or stay around San Diego and horse around like sailors do...but...on his 72 hour leave he would hitchhike from San Diego to San Francisco just to visit my mom, his grandma Jesse, and Aunt Alice.  These three women had his heart and he would make the 8 our trip up to spend a day with them and then hitchhike back to be on base before the 72 hours were up.

Joe and I were captivated by this story clinging to every word.  What a different world we live in, Joe and I pondered.  We had so many questions for him we had to slow down so he could keep up wih us :)  We were fascinated at what a trip like that was like and talked about how times have changed so much.  My dad said that the travelers back then were happy to have the company as well as someone to share the duty of driving such a long stretch.  Imagine that...people you could trust to drive your vehicle without driving off with it or robbing you!  It was a different time and Joe and I got lost in my dad's past.  It almost felt like we were there with him. 

After lunch Joe suggested we get some ice cream.  Dad and I were stuffed, but, we are both suckers for sweets so we forced ourselves to eat it anyway :D  Dad was tired and wanted to sit in the car so we brought his ice cream back to him and headed for our house.  We had a soccer game to watch and my dad, being the dedicated grandfather that he is, wasn't about to miss his grandaughter's high school team win another game in the TRAC!  Although she is injured, my parents still faithfully come to every game enduring the cold Valley air just to show their love and support. 

Have I mentioned that my parents are amazing!

Japan

Mom called the night before our first lunch date to let me know that dad was all ready to go!  He had picked out PF Chang for lunch and would just wait to hear from me as to what time I would pick him up.  I had such a busy day at work and wasn't able to touch bases with dad so he beat me to it :)  I got a call from him around 12:30 asking me what time I would be there and that he would be waiting on the porch for me.  I knew he was excited and so was I.  I got to the house around 1:30 and my oldest son, Kyle, was in the mood to visit, so, of course I had to stop and chat with him for a bit.  Dad patiently waited for me and I was grateful.  I don't get to see or talk to Kyle a lot so it was good to catch up a bit.

Somehow dad and I landed on Tepanyaki for lunch.  I don't know how we went from PF Chang's to Yoshino's but we did and it was a good choice!  We were seated quickly and only had to share our table with 4 other people.  We went late enough that the lunch crowd had gone.  We studied the menu briefly and we both knew what we wanted right away...

I don't want our lunch dates to seem like an "interview" but I really want them to be about my dad.  And, what I really want is, to share who he was and is with the generations to come.  So...my first question, I thought, was a great lead in to learning more about him.

"Dad, where was the first place you tried Tepanyaki?"
"Kamakura, Japan" he replied. 
"Wow! Really?"
"Yep"
"And, was it good?  I mean...was it like Americanized Tepanyaki?"
"It was...different...we ate Tepanyaki in someone's home.  They all have open flames in the middle of the home and everyone sits around them to keep warm.  It gets really cold in Japan at times.  The families cooked over the open flame and they had mats on the floor that kept the heat contained so everyone stayed really warm."
"That is interesting, dad ...I never knew that.  I'm glad you're sharing this with me.  I can't wait to share it with the kids and put it on my blog." 

Our conversation went on and I learned alot more about my dad's time in Japan.  Dad was in the Navy from 1954-1956.  He said at that time they did 2-year tours.  His tour to Japan was in between WWII and the Korean War.  It was a time when we were policing the borders and making our presence known.  It was moslty peaceful but always a bit uneasy.

Dad said he missed my mom terribly while he was away.  He told me he was "crazy" about her and still is...she wrote him letters almost every day while he was gone.  He smiled and then jumped into memories of my mom and how he used to court her before he left for Japan, but that's a story for a future blog.  Our food came shortly after and it was delicious.  Dad got the special...Shrimp and Calamari...and I got Filet Mignon...my fave :)  My dad always has my mom in the recesses of his mind and never fails to think about her wherever he is...as soon as he finished he said "I'd like to box that up for your mother...she'd like to eat the rest."  I told him I thought that was a great idea.

I had such a nice time with my dad, and although the food was excellent...the company was the best!