Our Last Hoo-Rah!

As my dad's illness progressed we were no longer able to meet for lunches. It became too difficult to manage and my dad became disoriented and agitated. This was agonizing for me because I believe in living life to the fullest each day. I knew my dad's time was limited and dang-it! I wanted him to have as many good days as possible. You can understand my enthusiasm when Marlee had her first college dance recital. I wanted my dad to see it and I knew he would want to see it as well. Nothing brought him greater joy than attending his kid's and grandkid's performances. My mother, on the other hand, was a wreck with worry over how we were going to make the trip happen. She knew the logistics of transferring him in and out of the car, and in and out of bed was not going to be an easy task, but I insisted that we would be fine. We had the help of four strong boys and I was determined to make my dad's final months, perhaps years, as participatory as possible. With a bit of planning and a lot of back and forth my mom agreed to make it happen. We made the trek to Lafayette, Ca. to visit Kyle, Kory, Marlee and Marlee's boyfriend, Mike with my dad, mom, Mariah, Colby and Mariah's boyfriend at the time, Steven. My dad was a trooper and although it was difficult to transfer him the boys made it seem like a piece of cake. There was a sweet moment when my dad reached out to Kory like a small child would reach for his father trusting him with his very own life. It was sweet and sad to watch all at the same time. My dad clung to every moment the recital offered and was sharp enough to notice that his granddaughter "wasn't in enough numbers" to his liking! I was surprised although not so surprised that he noticed the same thing we did. The dance department at Diablo Valley College is not near as good as the dance we were used to seeing Marlee do in the Central Valley. Despite what one would think the Central Valley has superior dance compared to that of the East Bay Area. This was disappointing and the reality for Marlee has been frustrating. We made the best of the recital and supported her as our family always does. After the recital we all went to eat at the restaurant Marlee Hostesses "Lucille's BBQ". Mom and I sat at the end of the table with my dad and helped him with his meal. It was difficult to manage because he had become increasingly agitated and confused. What would start out as a simple activity such as eating or visiting would become a battle or an argument. It wasn't dad's fault. It was the disease. The trip home was much more difficult than the trip up. Dad became so confused that he thought we were taking him somewhere against his will. Something as simple as a quick stop at a gas station became a severe trigger of confusion for my dad. We eventually made it home exhausted and emotionally beaten. Mom and I agreed that we would try to make home seem like an adventure for dad. Walks around the back yard and trips to the mailbox or out on the front porch were about as far as dad could handle traveling. This was his "Last Hoo-Rah". Although it broke my heart it was a reality. Below are some pictures of dad in his final years.