Now, you have to know Marlee's humor to really get this. She is witty and quick with comebacks. It is truly a gift. I laughed for a few minutes and then reprimanded her.
"Marlee! This is supposed to be about Doo-Too and what HE wants to do!" I scolded. "MoOom! you KNOW Doo-Too is only happy when WE are happy so it's a win win!"
Oy vey...this kid! She is right though. My dad really is happiest surrounded by his family doing what makes us happy. He rarely complains about the where's and when's. He does, however, hate waiting, so a place like the Cheesecake Factory on a Friday after the lunch rush was a fairly good choice, not to mention he does love cheesecake.
This time my mother picked up Marlee and met me at the restaurant with my dad. Dad is really getting the hang of this whole process and was ready to share his life with me. I had to chuckle because several times we'd get off course...distracted by either Marlee, my mom, an outside call, the waiter etc. etc. etc. but my dad would stop and redirect the conversation back to the topic at hand. I loved every minute of it! He really gets it! AND...he can't wait for my posts. Mom told me he asked her the other day "has Heather posted in Lunch with Dad yet?" This is going just as I'd hoped :)
It took us a bit longer to decide what we wanted this time. Fortunately, we had a wonderfully, cheerful waitress who was kind and patient. We sent her away twice before deciding what we wanted. Dad and mom settled on the mushroom burger, Marlee got her usual...a cheeseburger with everything on the side...and I decided to try the Asian lettuce wraps. Good choice I must say! With three different dipping sauces they were delish!
We usually start with small talk and lead into talk about dad's life from a springboard topic. This isn't intentional it just seems to happen naturally. We were talking about Marlee's performance at the church last weekend and how well she did in front of so many people. She is a natural born perfomer. My great niece, Meadow, came to see her sing and was taken back to the green room during service to visit with the musicians and singers. Meadow, too, is a performer and is completely uninhibited in this area. Dad began to share about the long line of perfomers and musicians in our family. This was our springboard :)
Dad's grandfather or "Gaffer" as they called him, because my dad couldn't pronounce "Grandfather" was a professional banjo player and billiard player. He made his living as an engraver and engaged in his talents on the side. He was in a band during the 30's and 40's...The Big Band era! What a fun time. Married to Nanna and divorced before my dad can remember, they were both perfomers. Edgy people at a time when things were becoming more and more liberal in the United States. Nanna was a showgirl. She danced and played at a piano bar in the city.
Plate Gaffer engraved for my mom and dadI never met Gaffer, but I do remember going to visit Nanna in San Francisco when I was a little girl. The most vivid memory I have of her was looking at her jewelry collection together, and admiring the large jewels that each one seemed to possess. When she passed away I was given a pendant in the shape of a rabbit. It was silver and covered with large, blue jewels. I was told "she would want you to have it" I remember crying because I understood that I would never get to see her again, and I still had so many questions to ask her. I was only 6 years old when she died.
My dad's grandparents were a large part of his childhood. Gaffer and Nanna were my dad's paternal grandparents. They had two children Philip, my dad's father, and Eleanor. Philip and Eleanor were fostered out together after Gaffer and Nanna divorced. I would imagine that the life of a performer during this time wasn't a stable life for raising children. My dad and mom don't know the details of this part of the story...it was probably a difficult subject to talk about. I imagine my dad didn't ask questions about it and my grandfather, or Poppy Phil as we called him, most likely didn't offer. Poppy Phil has since passed away and the stories of his childhood are patchy at best.
Dad said he remembers his cousing "Russel" staying with them when he was a kid. Russel was on the "Ozzie and Harriet" show back in the day. He was kind of a big deal and my dad always looked up to him. I think this may have been what sparked my dad's interest in the performing arts. I remember my dad talking about his cousin with pride when I was growing up. Russel lived in Canada where Poppy Phil and Eleanor were raised. I never met Russel, but I felt like I knew him. My dad is a great story teller and often recanted his youth with hilarious stories. I know the artistic gene runs deep in my father's DNA and in many ways he really missed his calling in life.
Dad was "incorrigable" according to his mother when it came to learning music. He had a natural ear and would not/could not learn to read notes. His piano teacher gave up trying to teach him when he would sit at the piano and copy by ear any piece the teacher would play. It's a wonder that my dad did not follow this line of work!
Some of my happiest memories as a child are listening to my dad play the piano and guitar. He played many of the same songs :) and later taught me to play some of them. I always tell my kids what my dad used to tell me "you come from a long line of musicians and performers!" I suppose that's why we are all so shy! Riiighht!
We wrapped up our lunch with none other than...cheesecake of course! Dad asked my mom what she was going to get and that set off the banter that continued for a few minutes. "Phil...why can't you choose what YOU want instead of always copying me?!"
I craked up. 73 and 76 and they still bicker like teenagers. It is comedy. My dad really wanted the red velvet cheesecake that my mom ordered for herself...but mom talked him into cheesecake with strawberries. She said "You like the plain cheesecake with strawberries!" Dad ordered what she suggested and then admired her red velvet the rest of lunch. Mom did share with him so that was a bonus...but I knew he really wanted the red velvet because he mentioned it several times throughout the week and even recommended it to another lady at our lunch the following week. I suppose we will have to go back and get him what he wants next time.
After lunch my mom and dad made it to another soccer game...weathering the cold and enjoying every minute of it. We are blessed.
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